I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
