she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
