So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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