No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize