between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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