She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize