we have officially lost it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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