Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My feet surprised me
Randomize