Say something about gay babies.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
