so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
