i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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