im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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