I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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