We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
