Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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