Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
