He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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