trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
