My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
