who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize