I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
