i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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