Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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