I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
