You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Vodka?
Forever.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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