talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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