Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize