We won't sleep together?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
