No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
