My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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