I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
