just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize