His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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