That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
