you would pick up someone in the library
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
