he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Two words: blizzard sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
