A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
