I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
