My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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