physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
