He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize