Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
