it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
