why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
