I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she pinky promised me she was 18
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
