she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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