i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
