Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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