How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
