Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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