FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
