does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
