There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
