she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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