just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
