i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
