I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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