I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She bit a glass in half.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Panties = found
Randomize
