he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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