Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
