sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
