the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are we still banned from the library?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
