Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
