I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize